Now typically I am not a person to judge and I completely understand going through a dark time in ones life, but something has hit me to the core and I am so deeply upset by it.
Now nothing gets me more upset knowing that people get misleading information about Spina Bifida which leads to a child not given a chance at life. Now where this is coming from is a Mom who is in the position we where in a year ago. Confused, sad, mad, and I remember all those feelings like it was yesterday. So with that said she came to our Spina Bifida online group, She was given an outpouring of support from all us parents. Questions answered, encouraging words. This journey is HARD, but it is so much more rewarding. She was open about being unsure about termination, she was given kind messages about why not to terminate, why all the women here did not terminate. But she is undecided whether her baby is worth giving life to. She told us she looked at our blogs, our children, and still was not sure her baby deserved life.
Now I wont lie this really bothers me an saddens me because Emma is worth all the pain and burden(if you want to call it that) of it all, but this is not what really got me so upset this women put a post on the board to please go to her blog to vote on whether she should keep her baby that has Spina Bifida or terminate. Now first of all why would she ask a group of mothers to vote for something that they clearly have already decided. And Most importantly anyone can vote and to have people help decided the fate of your child is disturbing to me on so many levels!!
Please pray that she finds the answer she is looking for because at this point thats all we can do. With that please read because it touched me!
The Special Mother
by Erma Bombeck
Did you ever wonder how mothers of disabled children were chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over the earth selecting his instruments of propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"This one gets a daughter. The Patron saint will be Cecelia"
"This one gets twins. The Patron saint will be Matthew"
"This one gets a son. The Patron saint give her Gerard. He's used to profanity"
Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a disabled child".
The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a disabled child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel!"
"But has she patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of sorrow and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it. I watched her today, she has that feeling of self and independence that is so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make him live in her world and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness."
The angel gasps - "Selfishness? is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally she won't survive. Yes here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'. She will never consider any 'step' ordinary. When her child says "Momma" for the first time she will be present at a miracle and will know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty and prejudice...and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as if she is here by my side."
"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid air.
God smiles "A mirror will suffice.